On the Verge

 Cusp: a pointed end where two curves meet. This week heralds in a new year, a new, era, an opportunity of possibilities...but wait...is it not, the way it has always been? 

 “Remember that things are not always as they appear to be… Curiosity creates possibilities and opportunities.”― Roy T. Bennett 

 “A disciple...can never imitate his guide's steps. You have your own way of living your life, of dealing with problems, and of winning. Teaching is only demonstrating that it is possible. Learning is making it possible for yourself.”― Paulo Coelh

We use to play the game called Life,
it was a small taste
and a roadmap indicator of what might and could come to pass

I am at the cusp of my life where I no longer feel hampered by the woulda, shoulda, coulda's of life. Oh "I still give a damn", as the saying goes, but I also am where two points meet, and I after some discussion with myself, and my Doctor, have to choose Me! 

I can only be accountable for Me, and rightly or wrongly, I have no choice, everyone else is busy. I have 'earned my stripe's'. 

The past year has been a year of realization, a coming to Jesus moment. A reality check has swooped in and delivered a thump on the noggin', all around me folks are moving on with their lives, or, as in some cases, their life has been completed, and they have moved on up. In other cases they have come to the point in their lives where their abilities have slowly but surely walked away, and they are in the limbo phase of not here, not there, it is a terrible reality and just plain sad to behold. 

My life is like the tides, they are constant and resolute,
ever rolling to the shore...

When God shared me with my parents, and my Mama pushed me out of her womb, my Father God, already had a roadmap in place. I of course in my infinite wisdom, challenged, questioned and tried to stymie and circumvent the route chosen for me. I have finally arrived at the cusp, and through trials and errors, laughter, tears and the torment of not doing my best and the disappointment of carrying that burden most of my life, I have 'seen the light', and letting go of the controls.

I now am like this Tulip fully open, engaged in life,
and waiting as the petals fall one by one as they cascade ever so gently
and say's ahhh yes, "The best is yet to Come..."

 I am not complaining or lamenting what has taken place, it was already written 74 plus years ago, but I am now invoking that free will clause,  'the power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one's own discretion.' I have given my best to those I love and care about, but I have gotten to the point where the drama, the upheaval and the inconsistencies' of others is wearing on my, for the most part 'Sunny' disposition. I for the most part am an observer of life, I am a part from a distance, it was not my plan but it is what has occurred, and I have had to learn to roll with the flow. There use to be a sitcom, in the 1960's, when I was growing up called 'Father Knows Best', I will take that as the revelation, that, our Heavenly Father does know best, he designed me, and made the roadmap, made, unequivocally, for just Me. 

I found this at the Farmer's Market,
a hand embroidered Tea Towel,
the sentiments speak for themselves.

The Cusp, it seems like I have been here a few times before, God chose me and put me in a position of leadership, as the first child, the first grandchild paternally, the first to get married, the first to have a child, the first o have a grandchild, the first to loose parents, the first to loose a spouse oh but wait, those are my personal firsts, we all at some point share those experiences, and we all either face them, deal with them, and carry on, or we choose, to push them down into the inner depths, where they hang just below the surface and effect us for the rest of our days. Ed, our neighbor for too many years to remember, use to use the term 'The Trials and Tribulations of life', but I now know what he was just feeling and saying, with as few words as possible whew...

When I was 8 and innocent...

“It was in letting go that I was finally able to see the purpose of the winds that roared around me, which were only there to carry me up into a higher realm and a different perspective. From there I could more clearly see the purposes God had in store for me.”

― Ryan Stevenson

Muriel and Byron
Mom and Dad
Murl and B.T.
This picture shows that opposites, do attract,
Dad found out that Rose's do have thorns,
and Mom found out that Dad had been there and done that during his early life, and could and would withstand the test of time.

Closing this writing from the heart on this cusp week with this, 

picture and words below...

I feel they are most appropriate:

Wait
that has been a difficult life lesson,
one of my lease favorable characteristics.

Just me, Just as I am,
"Older women know who they are,
and that makes them more beautiful than younger ones.
I like to see a face with some character.
I want to see lines. I want to see wrinkles.
Naveen Andrews

“I am the bended, but not broken. I am the power of the thunderstorm. I am the beauty in the beast. I am the strength in weakness. I am the confidence in the midst of doubt. I am Her!”

― Kierra C.T. Banks