Head Spa brings back memories of days gone by…

 

Our Aunt Melva, and her sister, our Mom Muriel were cosmetologist, My Aunt supported herself and her daughter by cutting and fixing women and men’s hair, beginning back in 1940’s. She was a woman who wore many hats, and managed to wear them all to the best of her ability They both went to beauty school in Knoxville and both obtained their cosmetology license, My aunt used hers, our mom, could have but did not, it was not her cup of tea, although she kept her license up to date all of her life. 

Aunt Melva Engle graduating from Knoxville Beauty School

Aunt Melva Engle Lane, Aunt Opal Engle Taylor,
Uncle Leffel Aubrey Engle, his wife Eucilla, and Muriel Engle Johnson

Alvin Lane... Melva Engle Lane

Our Aunt’s first beauty shop that she managed for Mr. Hoskins, was in the back of Hoskin’s Drug Store in Clinton, right behind the soda fountain. She provided hair services, while our mom, who lived with her, sat at the soda fountain, and enjoyed the rewards of being the sister of the beautician, and going to beauty school, while having milkshakes, soda pop, burgers and fries all homemade, and also where she met our dad Byron. Our Aunt Melva had the art of a good head wash down to a science, in later years we would drive up to Barboursville, Ky on a Sunday, her only day off, and go to her shop, Melva’s Beauty Box, and enjoy the pleasure of her head wash, cut and curl, it was amazing. I always had head tingles, and arm prickles when I was given the pleasure of being in her chair, she kept her shop until her late 70’s and had clients that would only allow ‘Melvy’ to do their hair, even after their passing. What a legacy. I have always compared her skills to all cosmetologists before and after.

In the last year Head Spa’s that originated in the Asian cultures have arrived onto our multi beauty enhancement Tennessee beauty scope and scene. My friends John and Kim Tran, who I have known for over 32 years, who have also increased their nail salon to include, lashes, waxing, facials and tans as well as The Head Spa. It is a scrub above Aunt Melva’s original, but so much more. Julie, a young woman, nail stylist originally from Viet Nam, makes you appreciate the art of relaxation, that offers up head tingles, arm prickles, and a refreshed scalp when your hour is completed in her small private room off the shop floor. I am a person that has a difficult time just letting go, giving up control, and giving in to relaxing. The last year and a half I have struggled to remain constant, I am broken in so many ways that even I can not describe how fractured I was and still am as I begin to heal. The one place I have been able to go, no questions asked, just open arms and open hearts, as I pour out in my silence, my tears, and my inability to just be who I am now as opposed to how I was before, The pieces that made me whole have gradually been falling away, leaving me very real... not unlike this quote from

 Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit

“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'
'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.
'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'
'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'
'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

I have had to come to terms with people who do not understand. The reality of life is difficult, and many have chosen to walk away, it’s easier than having to get into the trenches of grief and become real.

“Friends disappear
or they are powerless.
This is what misfortune means
an acid test of friendship.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone.”
― Anne Carson, Grief Lessons