Saying Goodby to People, Places, and Things is really a grammar lesson...

Little did I know when I was studying English grammar in school and the basic parts of speech such as: A noun names a person, animal, place, thing, quality, idea, activity, or feeling. A noun can be singular, plural, or possessive. Who knew throughout your life this basic grammar tool would play such a vital part in the comings and goings of life.

 

As the years of my life continue to progress I have had to learn to say goodbye. The lesson of goodbye is one of the most challenging life lessons for me. I am not good at it, and honestly I do not want to be, but it is not a choice of either...or, it is a misdemeanor of life a Fait accompli... if you will.

Many years ago I was friends with a young woman named Derinda, she was an interesting, diverse, and complicated woman on so many different levels. I have learned that each person that God brings into our lives is put there for a reason, a purpose,
a teaching lesson. Derinda was unusual, different, gifted and perhaps that was her draw for me, but the one thing that has always been the most valuable lesson from my relationship with her was not to pray for patience. She was in a constant state of unrest because she prayed for patience and "God", as she often said "made sure that he was bound and determined to teach her the lesson of patience in each and every area of her life." I do not know if her life is still as fraught as it once was, but I  personally have tried to rise above the keel of the impatience in my life, because of my association with Derinda.

This morning I had to say goodbye to a longtime good and faithful servant that has been in our household since the beginning of our marriage. When Curt and I were married his parents, Oliver, (Shad) and Juanita, (Nita) gifted us with a complete set of Farberware cookware. This gift has given our family faithful and reliable service for 50 years. When I think of the many meals that have been prepared in this cookware, knowing it helped to nourish and comfort our family over the years, I find myself somewhat distressed to part with this longtime go to kitchen utensil. My favorite 4 quart two handle pot has continually been reliable and helped to make my time in the kitchen preparing warm and comforting meals for our family a joy. I have worn the 3 ply right off of it. Over the years I have scrubbed and kept it, but alas yesterday as I was preparing a chicken soup recipe it ended up burning and I knew it was finished.

True and faithful servant

Last hurrah Chicken Soup

New replacement pot will you stand the test of time?

Honestly it sadden me for many reasons, but I think it was actually my inside unwillingness to part with one more thing that I have treasured, valued and trusted. Those characteristic's of reliability have been my center and part of my value system all of my life. In these days of throw away and new is better the core values have somewhat been displaced and not as valued as they once were, reminding me of this quote:
"There's a trick to the Graceful Exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over - and to let go. It means leaving what's over without denying its value." Ellen Goodman

Life, when it begins is all shiny, sparkling and fresh, like the much loved and used gift of the cookware, but as your life gets a little wear and tear on it, it to begins to break down, and wear out. God in my lifetime has given the wisdom and knowledge to man to repair, remake and to extend some of our valued and needed parts that we as human beings need to survive longer on this marvelous place we so lovingly call 'Mother Earth'. God sharing this ability strengthens my ever increasing faith in His love for us his children, knowing there is a purpose and reason for all things created by God and when the time is right all will be revealed.

When Curt and I were young marrieds and living in Norris, Tennessee we were a part of a young married class sponsored by the United Methodist Church of which we were members. We put on a play for the congregation one Sunday morning by Thornton Wilder called 'Our Town'. I was cast as Emily and Curt was cast as George, who were married, Emily dies giving childbirth and as George morns her loss at the cemetery Emily says this as she looks around at her loved ones past and present:
 
“Emily: Oh, Mama, look at me one minute as though you really saw me. Mama, fourteen years have gone by. I'm dead. You're a grandmother, Mama! Wally's dead, too. His appendix burst on a camping trip to North Conway. We felt just terrible about it - don't you remember? But, just for a moment now we're all together. Mama, just for a moment we're happy. Let's really look at one another!...I can't. I can't go on.It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another. I didn't realize. So all that was going on and we never noticed. Take me back -- up the hill -- to my grave. But first: Wait! One more look. Good-bye , Good-bye world. Good-bye, Grover's Corners....Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking....and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new ironed dresses and hot baths....and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth,you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every,every minute?
Stage Manager: No. (pause) The saints and poets, maybe they do some.
Emily: I'm ready to go back.”
― Thornton Wilder, Our Town

This re-enactment was a life altering life event at the age of 23 years for me and I have never ever forgotten how I felt performing that role and the extreme sadness I felt when I delivered that soliloquy, it changed my life and also showed me a glimmering of the tunnel to life after death, absolving me of my fears of what is to come. My parents planned to come to church that morning but I asked them not to come, I could not have bared them seeing this re-enacting of death, I did not understand it then but now all of these years later I understand... Life is surrounded with lessons about the here and now and the here after, filling us with the desire to continue on the path we are given, while we are always filled with the uncertainty of expectancy and what comes next. As of late I have been surrounded by and more Intune to the forecasting of what is coming, the preparation which is life and your reactions to it is only the beginning and I have found what once was my impatience has become as resolute and as patient as the goodbye's that are to come.

“But I'd long ago learned not to be picky in farewells. They weren't guaranteed or promised.  You were lucky, more than blessed, if you got a good-bye at all.”
― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever