Frozen Moments in Time

When I remember the horror of 911, there are flashes and glimpses of what I was doing, where I was, and who I was with. I am 62 years old and there are only 6 moments in time when I have been brought to my knees in utter devastation with such a feeling of loss. Even now those memories are ever present in their reality and the subsequence of their happenings.

On that early morning of  September 11, 2001, I was driving to Clinton, Tennessee, when my cell phone rang, it was my husband Curt, he said  in a very serious tone "Babe I just heard that there has been a plane hit The World Trade Center in New York City, something is not right about this, be careful okay?".  Curt had spent his career in the area of security.  First in the US Air force and then for TVA until he retired in 1995.  His last project before he retired was to design and complete a state of the art Emergency Preparedness Center to be used by TVA and all federal and local security forces in the east Tennessee area.  It was a very massive and impressive undertaking.  I did get to see the finished project, the day it was completed and opened for service, which was also Curt's last day of work for TVA, February 28, 1995.  I could tell by Curt's tone that morning that he believed that the Center would be put into use that day, and it was.

When I arrived in Clinton to pick up my Mom to go to the eye Doctor, my Dad was watching the TV stunned.  My Mom and I left and drove in silence and disbelief, back to Knoxville to the eye Doctor.  As we were sitting in the waiting room the TV's were on and people were just starring in disbelief...patients, nurses, doctors just aghast. My cell phone rang and it was Dad calling and his voice was so very emotional as he shared about the plane hitting the Pentagon in Washington,D.C., I too had been watching.  I understood his feeling of just needing to share this event with someone.  It was surreal, as the Towers imploded upon themselves, a nightmare of human beings jumping from windows and people running and running and running as the rubble overtook the entire area.  It has left a lasting imprint on my mind, my heart, and my soul.  I do not need the constant reminders every year on September 11th that the news bombards us with, I understand the immensity of what happened on that day.  This beloved land we call The United States of America was shown without a doubt that we were not safe, secure and without enemies.  We were vulnerable and all who live in this country were given a gigantic wake up call.

Chris and Barbara were living in Richmond, VA so very close to D.C. and Amy and Mark had just arrived in Seoul, Korea for their year tour. I recall Amy calling scared, distraught and worried about all of us here at home.  She would soon learn that being American and living on the economy. in a foreign land, would became a scary and tenuous reality after 9/11, she soon found that Mark and her, were not prepared for that very ominous reality and the way it affected their comings and goings as Americans. We were very afraid for them the entire time that they were overseas, and I remember the utter relief we felt when they arrived back in the United States after that tour.  Our family had been apart, and scattered, during a terrifying moment in America's history. I remember wondering how will we manage now, what will we do, how is this going to affect our family.  We are still reeling from the effects of that beautiful crystal clear day in early September,that soon became laden with smoke, rubble and tragic results of loss of life and altering changes that caused our world, in one swift moment in time to utterly stop, drop and roll.

I guess my purpose of writing this piece is to encourage all of us to pause. reflect and remember.  There have always been moments in each of our lives that have given us pause, that have brought us to our knee's.  Those moments offer up lessons for all of us.  What we choose to do with those lessons is up to us.  We can use them to make a difference, or we can allow them to be buried and pushed to the background, as though they are common place and unimportant happenings.  We as a people have become so bushwa in regards to our surroundings, and events.  It is as if we are not apart of, and we have become removed from  the reality that is taking place around us.

Personally for me sometimes it would be nice to runaway and escape from the reality that has become my life.I have always felt more comfortable being in charge, in control, making decisions that affect me and mine.  I have had to enter into the world of reality in these last few years, and what I have come to realize is that it is only when you are willing to give up control that you can become enlightened and are able to stand fast and accept life's offerings for what they are. Each one of us are placed on this earth for a reason.  We are given free will.  How we go about discovering what our ultimate purpose is, is part of the journey.  The path of our journey is of our own choosing, although as I found out recently when I broke my ankle, the path sometimes is strewn with stones, and if you are not paying attention, it can be the source of a fall from grace, filled with aggravation and fraught with pain. The lesson I learned from that experience is on going. One of the things I found out is, that no matter how secure you believe you are, the reality is you are not.  We are all vulnerable, fragile and can be brought down in seconds.  There was also the element of feeling compassion, understanding, and having to learn to rely on the help from others. We are not an 'Army of One', as the commercial of a few years ago tried to tell us.  God made us human beings and as such he built in the need of community, companionship, and the comfort of other like beings.

As with most of my writings, the words rolled forth of their own accord.  If you are reading this and are willing, I would appreciate you taking a few moments to comment about where you were and what you felt on that day.  I am hoping to leave this as a record for future generations and your input would be valuable knowledge.  Any and all can comment just go to the end of the blog see comment, write your words, there is a little box that say's comment as if you do not have an account with Google, then you can use anonymous, just put your name at the end, and hit post comment.  It will come to me for review and then I will post it.  I really look forward to hearing what you have to say.  I value each and everyone of you who reads this.  Always remember all of you are my lifeline to reality and I cherish each moment.  God Bless. LSJL